My ex who I haven't seen in at least 4 months came to my place last night. It was actually really good to see him and just have a conversation that we could smile and laugh with each other, he looked good and I think I might kinda miss him... okay well that was a lie, I do miss him!
As much I had my mind set to hes just gonna sit there and not do anything that didn't really happen, I swear the whole time we were talking he just kept moving closer and closer to me.
I guess the part I got confused about was that he tells me he misses me and we hooked up that night but when he left he told me he doesn't regret it but no one can know about what happened. I don't think I can handle this whole thing of hooking up but then not having anything else, and I know hes not the kind of guy to "tap and gap" so I honestly don't know what to say,
Do I seem like the kind of girl that want to have this secret thing with a guy?
My head is trying to tell me to end things with him. But my heart...
...my heart is just waiting for the chance that my head might...reconsider
Wednesday, 19 September 2012
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
An Interesting Fact...
So here goes nothing ....
i live in a small town at the top of the south island in New Zealand, the towns called Blenheim its quiet but not really my idea of an amazing get away place, i guess if your a teenager into smoking weed and drinking every weekend you would fit in pretty well with most people here there are a few people that dont go to parties and havent smoked but the majority of people have and probably will for quite a while, i myself kind of fall into the second category as im not really into paries (i feel out of place) and iv tried weed but that was it.
I guess i should tell you that im 15 years old and i go to marlborough girls college (MGC) i am curently year 11 (5th form) and am doing my first year of NCEA, the girls at my school are verry bitchy but if you live in Blenheim you have to deal with it on a regular basis so the only way to "stay alive" is to basicly blockout what people say about you, try not to let it get to you, act like you own the place even if secretly you are so scared of everyone and tell yourself that no matter what you can get through anything.
People always act tough via txt or instant message but really they arent, they may look it when you see them but really they are probably hoping you wont confront them about the problem or situation. Thats pretty much how everyone is they are to afraid to tell the truth and be the real them so hide behind make up, designer brands, fake statements and others if they dont think they are good enough they take it out on others.all this and more you can find in my home town .... i wish things were different ....
i live in a small town at the top of the south island in New Zealand, the towns called Blenheim its quiet but not really my idea of an amazing get away place, i guess if your a teenager into smoking weed and drinking every weekend you would fit in pretty well with most people here there are a few people that dont go to parties and havent smoked but the majority of people have and probably will for quite a while, i myself kind of fall into the second category as im not really into paries (i feel out of place) and iv tried weed but that was it.
I guess i should tell you that im 15 years old and i go to marlborough girls college (MGC) i am curently year 11 (5th form) and am doing my first year of NCEA, the girls at my school are verry bitchy but if you live in Blenheim you have to deal with it on a regular basis so the only way to "stay alive" is to basicly blockout what people say about you, try not to let it get to you, act like you own the place even if secretly you are so scared of everyone and tell yourself that no matter what you can get through anything.
People always act tough via txt or instant message but really they arent, they may look it when you see them but really they are probably hoping you wont confront them about the problem or situation. Thats pretty much how everyone is they are to afraid to tell the truth and be the real them so hide behind make up, designer brands, fake statements and others if they dont think they are good enough they take it out on others.all this and more you can find in my home town .... i wish things were different ....
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